late novemember
Noctis Lucis Caelum + Prompto Argentum
Talk of depression, death | Complete
It was cold and overcast when they landed on Andromeda. Noctis had been hanging back a little the whole way there, wanting to make sure his two closest friends had a moment to talk, or ... something. He wasn't sure what, exactly, but it made something hot expand in his chest. It was like heartburn, only a hundred times worse. Not that he had any intention of looking too closely at it. That would be bad. So Noctis focused his attention on looking after Henruit and chatting with the crew. They all seemed in favor of his offer to put everyone up in a hotel for a few days, so he had EDI make the reservations. It pleased him to know Prompto's people would be so well taken care of; the hotel was extremely ritzy, boasting enough recreational and wellness activities to keep them occupied for far longer than their stay would be. They deserved it with how much good work they were doing. And so did Prompto, but he had something a little different in mind for his best friend.

"Hey," Noctis greeted the man in question when he crossed the hotel lobby to meet him. The excited exclamations of Prompto's crew echoed all around them, and Noctis couldn't help but smile at that, amused. "Ready to go?" His friend had already agreed to crash at his apartment, but he still felt nervous about it. This was opening up the place where he'd lived for the past nine months, and he wasn't sure what Prompto would think when he saw it. If he'd even want to stay. Noctis huffed out a breath and started walking, since his place was only a few blocks away. "You know, this kind of feels like when I first invited you over my place back home," he confessed, glancing to his side to make sure Henruit was following them. "I was so nervous. I think I cleaned it, like, four times. And I definitely bought way too much food. You must've thought I was insane." He chuckled a bit, weakly, wondering if he should have begged EDI to check on his place before they got there.

Too late now.

Noctis activated the front doors by pressing his fingers to a touch screen. Henruit ran ahead, as if recognizing the place. It figured. He was very intelligent. "It's, uh. Different. Just a warning." He waved at the concierge droid (who waved back after a moment of hesitation), then got into the elevator, holding it open for his two companions. Don't ramble, don't ramble, don't ramble, he told himself. "You'll love the view, though," Noctis said, mentally kicking himself. Why couldn't he shut up? It was like some weird, nervous compulsion. "Great view of the park. Do you run anymore? There are some pretty good paths. I tried jogging for, like, a week. I even got up early. I know, right? Me. We should totally go for a jog or something with Henny here, though. I think he'd like it. Gods, stop me, please."

Horribly flushed but still half-amused at himself, Noctis tapped in another code to unlock the elevator doors when they reached the correct floor. They hissed open, revealing a sprawling penthouse apartment with giant windows lining the whole living space and polished, heated wood floors. It offered a beautiful view of the city, all winking lights and darting transports as if mirroring the night sky above. But despite the fancy appearance, it looked sparse, like out of a magazine. Not lived in.

After holding the door open for them both, Noctis activated the lights to a soft, glowing level, not wanting to disturb this moment by anything too bright. Henruit just leapt onto the couch nearby, and he huffed. "Guess that's your bed now, huh?" He set his bag down on the floor and glanced at Prompto, half-nervous, half-hopeful. "Can I get you something? Tea? Food?"

Watching his crew with a small smile on his face, he was glad they were getting this chance to be pampered, to have a few days to themselves eating food that was way too rich and taking advantage of every little amenity that the hotel had to offer. Their excited chatter and bright expressions, though, weren’t enough to dampen this sick feeling that Prompto had been carrying around for a little while now. It felt like something had changed when he wasn’t looking and Prompto couldn’t even really put words to it, to this feeling. All Prom could say was that it made him feel anxious and nauseous, like a sense of impending doom and he didn’t know how to halt it. Still, he’d tried to put on a good face even though that worry felt like it was literally eating him alive on the inside.

“Hey,” Prompto returned when Noct was by his side, and he looked at him for the first time since they’d walked in here. Why he felt like he shouldn’t? He didn’t have an answer for that, and Prompto was sure it was tied to that something that was gnawing at him. That something that almost made Prom turn down Noctis’s offer to stay with him even though Prompto wanted time with him more than anything. He’d almost even decided to just leave entirely, to just board the Praespero and stay there, alone. It wasn’t too late to change his mind, to walk away. But from what? “Yeah, let’s go,” he said with more certainty and confidence than he thought he should have been able to muster with the conflict raging between his head and his heart.

That was when that feeling started to solidify into a thing he could name, a thing he could put words to so he could understand it. Prompto was so madly in love with Noctis that it hurt and one moment it seemed like maybe — oh gods just maybe — Noct had been interested in him too and then suddenly it felt like that was all over. Hope wanted him to just hang on, that slowing down wasn’t stopping, that not moving forward didn’t mean they were going backwards, but it was hard for him to listen to hope when he was so afraid of it.

Prompto took a deep breath to try to clear his head and attempted to just focus on the nervous way Noct was speaking and on putting one foot in front of the other. Instinctively, Prom started to reach for Noctis’s hand as they walked, but in the end he pulled his hand back having only gently brushed his knuckles against the back of Noct’s hand. “I remember that day. I was so nervous I had to change my shirt because I kinda sweat through the first one.” Prompto remembered babbling the whole way over to the poor driver and the way she would send him these sympathetic looks from rearview mirror. “No, but I thought you really liked hot dogs. Which, I guess isn’t really a bad thing,” Prom replied, nostalgia and amusement coloring the tone of his voice and it was enough to almost cover up the way it wavered a little.

Just standing near the building reminded Prompto of how he’d felt when he’d first been to the apartment building Noctis used to live in back on Eos and how he’d felt the first time he’d been invited to the Citadel. He couldn’t help but feel like this was a kind of life that he didn’t belong to, a foreigner, something unworthy. Prompto had always felt too small and insignificant and he’d always wondered how he had ever earned the right to be there, or here now. “That’s okay. I think you said the same thing when I first visited your old place too, you know.” Henruit bolted ahead of Prompto into the elevator and for a moment, Prom considered hanging back and letting the doors close to leave him in the lobby. But even if he did leave in the end, Noct deserved more than that. More than just a last look through closing doors with no explanation. “I’ve never seen this city from anywhere but the tarmac and the streets. I’m a little curious,” he replied, offering a small smile as he stepped onto the elevator. Prompto couldn’t really remember the last time he had spent more than a handful of minutes on Andromeda. Bringing Noct back home after rescuing him and EDI had been the first time Prom had even gone near this place in a really long time. Cities just… weren’t places he belonged anymore. They made him think of Insomnia, of the home and the people he lost even if there wasn’t anything familiar about the two places.

Biting his lip, Prompto couldn’t help but feel that Noct was talking so much because he was nervous around him for some reason. To Prompto, it felt like there was something that Noct really wanted to say but wouldn’t and where once Prompto had been hopefully optimistic, it had been just a little crippled by a fatalism fuelled by his even more crippled self worth. So, combined with that horrible anxiety that Noct was maybe regretting the way the direction they had been moving in, this felt like a rejection without the words being said outright. Why would he want you, self-hatred questioned harshly. Broken, hopeless, fragile, pining, useless. Nothing anyone would want. Nothing. You’re nothing.

“I do, but it’s just on a treadmill most of the time. I miss running through the city in the mornings, before the rest of the world was awake and getting to see the sun come up and make the windows of the buildings sparkle.” All of Prompto’s favorite images of home though were tainted. Even when he tried to remember the beautiful things that he’d loved, they’d be interspersed with visions of the ruins that were left behind, and above them all stood the Citadel, a tall, dark fortress that in the end, robbed the world of the brightest person in it, his king, his best friend, his first love, his soulmate and left him bleeding out.

Prompto couldn’t help the easy laugh that escaped him at Noct talking about getting up early to go jogging. “Pics or it didn’t happen,” Prompto joked. “I’d like that and I’m sure Henruit would too.” Reaching down, Prompto scratched the dog behind the ear and didn’t miss the way his bright eyes looked between them like he knew something was up too. “From what? Talking?” Prompto tried to downplay the fact that Noct having not really stopped nervously trying to fill the dead air bothered him. Once, not even that long ago even, they had been able to sit in silence and just be comfortable in each other’s presence. Now, it didn’t feel like Noct was when he was around him and it hurt. “Do you have something on your mind? I tend to ramble when I want to say something but I’m not sure how to say it. Whatever it is… I’m here, okay? You can talk to me.”

Again, Prompto wanted to take Noct’s hand and he found himself reaching for it only to fall short one more time. But then they arrived at the floor and Prom looked away, feeling like his entire face was on fire, burning hotter than the bright pink color prickling across his cheeks. Once the doors opened, Prompto let himself be swept away by the apartment itself, with so much glass and the glittering of the city stretching out all around them. It was breathtaking, but Prompto couldn’t breathe for another reason, one that didn’t have to do with the beauty of the city. “I’m good, thanks. I’m… not really hungry.” Prompto’s stomach was all in knots and he was sure that if he put anything in it, it would just come right back up.

Something was definitely wrong. Noctis could tell in the way Prompto's smile didn't reach his eyes and his hand never quite touched his own. He's afraid of me, Noctis realized, and that hurt more than anything, horror washing over him in a wave. It made sense, though. He'd violated the trust between them, used unforgivable magic, and then hadn't explained like he'd promised he would. What must Prompto think of him now? Noctis couldn't even imagine. Despite his friend's initial reaction to seeing him do what he did, that hardly meant he was still okay with it. And given his behavior now ... Noctis tried to keep himself together, but it was a near thing. So he just filled the space up between them with noise, relieved when Prompto at least felt comfortable enough to respond. Maybe their friendship could be salvaged. He hoped so. Desperately hoped so.

When Noctis felt those knuckles brush his hand, he tried to curl his fingers, only to find Prompto's hand was already gone. He exhaled a shaky breath. "Really? I didn't know you were nervous, too." Somehow, despite his fear that he'd ruined everything, Prompto still managed to make him laugh. He truly was a miracle worker, and far too forgiving for his own good. The hot dog debacle was a good example of that—Prompto had never once made Noctis feel strange, even when he acted strangely, and he didn't know how to thank him for that. But he'd start trying. "Thanks for giving me a shot. And for sticking with me while I figured out how to act normal." Noctis gently bumped their elbows, chancing another glance at his best friend, hope making his heart beat wildly in his chest.

For a brief moment, it seemed as though Prompto wouldn't actually step into the elevator with them, and Noctis felt his stomach drop. This was so much worse than he'd thought. Even when his friend did follow him, part of Noctis wished that he hadn't. This felt like forcing Prompto into something he clearly didn't want at all, and he could barely follow the line of conversation anymore he was so concerned about his friend's wellbeing. "Spoken like a true photographer," he managed somehow, the humor a little weak in his tone, but there. He hoped this meant Prompto wasn't quite as uncomfortable as he seemed, but he couldn't tell. That was unsettling, too—that he couldn't read his best friend like he used to.

Noctis glanced at the man next to him, a man he loved more than life itself, a man who was clearly suffering, and couldn't stand the sight. It was too much. So he stopped talking and reached out to gently, tentatively rest his hand on Prompto's shoulder. Once he was certain the touch was welcome, Noctis stepped around Henruit and shuffled a little closer, ducking his head to try and catch a look at Prompto's eyes. "Hey," Noctis murmured, a frown on his lips. "It's okay. Whatever this is, I promise we're gonna get through it. I'm here." Every instinct inside him wanted to close the distance between them, to press a kiss against his friend's cheek, but he held himself back. One step at a time. So he squeezed that shoulder a bit instead, gentle as ever, and remained close even when he dropped his hand again. He didn't want to push his luck here, but he'd damn well offer comfort where he could.

It was Prompto's description of running in the morning that made Noctis' heart ache with love for him, fondness and admiration blooming in his chest. It helped to dispel some of the tension hanging over them like a cloud, and he hummed, low in his throat. "Maybe we can do that here." It'd be nice to not fear the sunrise, or feel any lingering anxiety whenever he woke before the dawn. Prompto had a way of chasing away the things that scared him, though. He always had.

And then he was being called out. Noctis smiled a little, sheepish. "Yeah," he responded, gruffly. "Thanks. It's ... um. A few things, but one of them has to do with what happened when we rescued Gladio. The magic thing." Noctis paused, letting the words sink in, trusting that Prompto would immediately know what he was referring to. It had been a pretty horrible moment, after all. Difficult for him to forget, and impossible for him to forgive. "I wanted to apologize to you for that. I should've warned you first. There's no excuse, and if you ..." Noctis swallowed, suddenly uneasy. "If you have questions, I can answer them. And if you don't feel comfortable around me anymore, I—I get it, Prom. Seriously."

Stuffing his hands into the pockets of his jacket, Prompto curled them into fists, frustrated with himself and so, so anxious. He remembered the way Noct’s hand felt in his, how it could calm his spirit despite the fact it made his heart race and he longed for that, but he didn’t feel deserving of it, no matter how badly he wanted it. Caught up in his own head, he missed the way Noct reacted to that brief touch, already starting to close down a little. It was selfish, this pathetic and desperate scrabbling to try to pull those walls back up to protect himself, but he thought that maybe it could protect this thing he was so unwilling to lose, too. As if, maybe, stopping himself from feeling could at least keep Noct in his life instead of pushing him away with feelings of love that couldn’t possibly be returned.

“Yeah. I was a mess,” he replied with a smile. It was almost good enough, almost a real one, but he just couldn’t quite express it the way he wanted to. His happiness, something he had only just started to experience again, was barely limping alongside him, overpowered by anxiety and fear and the pain of a broken heart, even though he was breaking it himself. If it was already shattered then he couldn’t hurt any more when this was all over like he was afraid it would be.

Prompto had never once considered Noctis strange, not once in all the years they knew each other. From the moment they first met, there was just something about him that Prom connected with, a sense that they were the same more than they were different. And it didn’t take long for him to love all of Noct’s little quirks, the things that maybe other people would have thought were strange or weird. To Prompto, they were just facets of what made Noctis the person he was and he loved him even more for them. “Did you ever really act normal,” Prompto teased and for a moment he forgot what was eating at him and a flash of light reached his eyes, but only for a moment, too short and fleeting, and in its wake, he was left feeling colder than before. Still, he stole a glance at Noct before that brightness was gone from his eyes again and he nudged him back gently.

While he might have missed some of the hopeful glances Noct had sent in his direction, or the way it seemed like he wanted to touch as bad as Prompto did, Prom didn’t miss the way his expression changed when he hesitated to get on the elevator. He lingered for all of a few seconds, but it was clear that Noct had noticed and Prompto felt vile, because it was clear that he hurt him and that was the last thing that he wanted. He wanted to pull him into a hug right there in the elevator, to apologize, but he couldn’t will his body to do that, still anxious it was crossing a line that had been drawn when he wasn’t looking. “I started taking a lot more landscape pictures the last few years before I… well, before I ended up here. I wanted to document the world coming back to life.”

Feeling Noct’s hand on his shoulder was conflicting. It was comforting, and that radiated throughout his entire body, soothing his nerves and hope surged up inside of him again, all too desperate to try to save him. Each time that hope took over, it smashed his progress on those walls inside of him, undoing all the work his anxious, fearful side put into building them. It left him raw, and exposed though, vulnerable, and it was clear in the way his shoulders pulled in slightly as if to protect his heart, in the way his eyes reflected a look that might have been seen on a wounded animal, afraid to be struck down. “You think so,” he questioned, almost silently. Just as he moved to rest a hand over Noct’s, it was gone from his shoulder and he let his arm fall limp by his side again.

Once, Prompto had cherished the sunrise, the way the colors of it streaked across the sky and slowly brought the world back to life. When that light was gone, Prompto missed it more, felt the loss of it almost as deeply as he felt the loss of his best friend, adrift inside that crystal. But the price that was taken for the sunrise to come back… it had robbed it of the beauty Prompto had once loved. Despite how often he had talked about wanting to go back to watching the sun rise and cut through the darkness, Prompto had only seen one sunrise after Noct was gone and not another one since. The way it had twisted his heart, wrung it dry, it felt like dying it hurt so badly and his body and heart and soul wouldn’t have been able to survive that a second time. “Maybe,” Prom echoed.

“It… was a shock, but — hey,” Prom reached for Noctis instinctively then, feeling that uneasiness in his best friend more acutely than he felt his own emotions. With his hand cradling his face, Prom gently brushed his thumb over his cheekbone, trying to soothe Noct. He couldn’t help but feel like maybe this was wrong, that he shouldn’t have, but selfishly, the touch made him feel better and he wasn’t ready to let go just yet. “It didn’t make me afraid of you, Noctis. And it didn’t change anything about how I feel about you.” His voice was more sure now than it had been since they had started making their way here, because this wasn’t about him and he was able to push all his worries aside to comfort Noct, just like he always had. “I don’t want you to think that it did. You’re still the same person that I…,” and all that confidence was gone, dried up like the words on his tongue. Swallowing hard, Prompto knew that if he kept going, everything was going to change. It was terrifying, having this huge thing to say and not knowing what would happen once it was spoken. Every day for twenty years, Prompto had wanted to confess this and here he was, on the precipice of a fall with no knowledge of what awaited him after he threw himself over the edge. “I love you, Noct.”

With his heart in his throat, he let his hand linger on the side of Noct’s face before he started to pull away, anxious to the point that he was trembling, something he was sure Noct could feel.

Prompto was ... dimming. There was no other way to describe the way the light inside his best friend seemed to fade, how he barely reacted to Noctis' attempts at conversation. Maybe this was even worse than he'd thought? But then, he couldn't understand why Prompto was torturing himself like this. It would have been fine if he'd come up with some excuse and stayed at the hotel with the others. Hell, Noctis wouldn't have blamed him. This awful, tense, confusing exchange between them was so much worse, and the more he tried talking to fill the space, the more Prompto seemed to hurt. So he just ... stopped, abruptly, and fiddled with his gloves, pulling one off, then the other, not quite sure what to do with himself. Even that brief flash of light in his friend's eyes was gone as quickly as Noctis had caught it, and his heart sank.

You ruined everything. He can't even stand to be around you anymore. He listened, quietly, as Prompto talked about the pictures he'd taken in the wake of the dawn returning back home. It wasn't until the elevator doors wavered in front of him that Noctis realized there were tears in his eyes, and he blinked them away quickly, terrified that Prompto might see him crying. He really didn't want to have that conversation right now. His best friend was hurting, wilting in front of him, and Noctis wanted to help however he could. This wasn't the time for getting emotional over his own unresolved trauma.

When Prompto curled in on himself, away from him, Noctis removed his hand immediately, as if burned. "I hope so," was what he managed, voice rough. He didn't know what else to say.

He was so surprised by his friend's sudden energy that he stared with wide eyes, startled, as Prompto's hands reached for his face. It was such a reversal from his earlier despondency that Noctis didn't know how to react, worry and joy warring fiercely within him. "You're not afraid? But what—" The words died in his throat when that thumb gently brushed his cheekbone, every anxious thought in his head quieting at the soft touch. Noctis swallowed, unaware that his gaze was very warm now, almost intense. And then Prompto confessed.

Noctis was only impulsive in very specific situations. If he thought he could save someone, he would step between them and a threat. No hesitation. If he felt strongly about something, he would stand up and voice his opinion. No question. But when it came to social interactions, particularly physical affection, he stalled, overthought it to hell and back, and ultimately, he missed the moment. The train had already left the station.

That was not the case here.

Before Prompto had even finished speaking, Noctis was already moving. He kissed him before he could think twice about it. The angle was a little off because he'd never kissed anyone before, and maybe his nose was in the way a little bit, but it was the single most electrifying feeling he'd ever experienced. It was like a bolt of lightning, and Noctis made a desperate noise in his throat, reaching for Prompto and finding his hip underneath the jacket (that damn jacket), then his side, hand sliding around until he cradled his best friend with an arm around his back, protective and gentle despite the all-consuming intensity of the kiss. It took all his willpower to drag away from Prompto's mouth, but he did after a moment, only moving far enough away so he could press their foreheads together.

"I'm so in love with you, dude," Noctis husked out, quiet and reverent, a soft huff following right after. He was too happy not to laugh a little, overwhelmed by his elation.

If Noct had told Prompto that he was dimming, he would have been surprised. That there was any light left in him to go out? It was hard to believe. As far as Prompto knew, any brightness in him was interred with his best friend, extinguished wholly and completely. The sun had returned to the world but his had gone out permanently and so he lived in darkness. But Noctis was here, and maybe that had revived the stars inside of him to bring life back to his barren body, except it was dying again and it hurt more than it did before. To be this close and to feel it all slipping away? It was torture.

The abrupt way their conversation ended was torture too. Maybe it had been too hopeful to think that Noctis still wanted him in his life, that they were always meant to be together. Prompto still knew that his soul lay with Noct, still believed that they were soulmates, but even then, that didn’t mean that they would ever have what he wished they could. But Prompto would never believe it was a mistake, meeting him, loving him, because for as long as he was able to have him, Prompto’s life was perfect and he had been happy. He only hoped that, even a little, the same had been true for Noctis. That he had made him happy, too.

Prompto hadn’t seen the tears in Noct’s eyes though, because he had been too busy trying to hide his own. That hand recoiling from him, was just another reminder that he was losing his best friend, and he’d turned his head to the side as he felt the tears welling up in his eyes, glancing upwards and hoping that they would dry up before they could fall and make this harder for the both of them. If in the end he needed to walk away, he wanted to at least look strong so that Noct wouldn’t feel guilty for letting him go. Even if he had to leave, he wanted Noct to be happy and to move on, and he didn’t want to leave him with any more bad memories.

But all of that changed when he gave in to that small voice of hope and that quietly persistent desire to reach out and touch Noctis when he was so conflicted over that magic. Prompto’s instinctive need to comfort his best friend, this man that he loved more than everything in this whole world (in every world), was stronger than all his self-loathing, and it would always win out if there was a battle between the two. It wasn’t even a question.

And so he reached out to touch him, first with one hand, and then both, cradling Noct’s face gently between them both as a soft, warm, loving expression crossed over his features, bringing a life to them they hadn’t really known in a really long time. “I’d never be afraid of you. I trust you completely, no matter what,” he whispered between them, just loud enough for Noct to hear. As he spoke, he continued to gently caress Noct’s cheek, feeling only that much more confident by the softening expression on Noct’s face. He didn’t miss the warmth in that look, or the intensity, but that didn’t prepare him for what Noctis did next.

Lost in the feeling of Noct’s lips against his, Prompto didn’t have any thought left to distract him from that sensation, how it crashed over him like a wave and he pressed closer to Noct, one of his hands moving so his fingers could tangle in the soft, dark locks of his hair. Prompto hadn’t ever really kissed anyone before either, so he wasn’t that great at it either, but he tilted his head slightly and shivered at the almost overwhelming feeling that was overtaking him. That desperate noise sparked something in Prompto and he slid his hand down to Noct’s neck, using his thumb against’ Noct’s jaw to tip his head back a little. And a soft, needy sound escaped Prompto too because he felt so much and he hoped that he could convey even just a fraction of it in the way he kissed Noct back with everything he had. Prompto all but melted when Noct’s hand found his hip, and even more so when Noct’s arm was around him. Wrapping both arms around Noct’s neck then, one hand pressed against the back of his shoulder as the other found its way back into his hair. His touch was soft but not tentative.

“If I knew I’d get this kinda reaction, I wouldn’t have waited twenty years to tell you,” Prompto said with a laugh too. Leaning in, he pressed another kiss against Noct’s lips, and while he didn’t linger long, it was just as intense as the one that came before it. “I love you so much.”

It was like night and day. One moment, Prompto was curling in on himself like a rapidly wilting flower, and in the next, he was perking up, as if leaning toward the first light of the morning. Noctis had no idea what caused the change, but he felt profound relief to see it, even despite the anxiety and self-loathing that twisted up inside him at the thought of being just like Ardyn. Of hurting Prompto. "But what if I don't trust myself?" Noctis murmured, so quiet he barely heard it over the sound of his wildly beating heart. He wanted to believe Prompto so badly, to cling to the idea that he wasn't cursed, but he wasn't ready yet. There were things his best friend still didn't know about what happened that night. Things he had a right to hear. And Noctis would have told him, but the pull toward Prompto's waiting mouth was like a siren call, and he went willingly, powerless against the pull of that tide drawing them together.

Kissing Prompto was one thing. Feeling Prompto kiss back was something else entirely. Those fingers in his hair drew sparks of fire down Noctis' spine, and it took him a moment to realize he'd moaned, quietly, gripping his friend just a little more desperately than before. It was searing hot, beyond anything he could have imagined (and oh, how he'd imagined), and when Prompto took control of the kiss, Noctis followed his lead with a shiver he knew his friend would be able to feel. He could stand there all day being kissed by this incredible man. Or, well. He certainly wanted to, except his legs felt like jelly and the surge of adrenaline was making him slightly dizzy. It was probably a good thing that they finally eased back a little, but Noctis remained close, beaming when Prompto said he loved him again.

It was short-lived, though. His joy began to recede when he remembered with sharp, sudden clarity how he'd broken down in tears yesterday morning, his whole body trembling with grief for the feelings he thought were selfish and wrong. How could he ask for this from the two people who gave everything for him? How dare he even imagine he deserved it? Noctis exhaled a ragged breath and pushed those emotions aside in favor of focusing on Prompto. Right now, they had more pressing issues to address.

"You were really worrying me earlier," he confessed, concern creeping back into his eyes. "Are you okay? It's fine if you're not. You don't have to explain, either, I just ..." He trailed off, rubbing a hand along Prompto's spine in what he hoped was a comforting gesture. "I'm here." Perhaps that was too simple a statement. Noctis leaned in to gently nuzzle a kiss to Prompto's forehead, still amazed he was allowed to do this. That his friend wanted him to.

To Prompto, it felt like a breath of life had washed over him and filled his lungs. The change in himself was so startlingly sudden and so terrifyingly powerful that he was almost uncertain what to do with this feeling. For so long, he had been broken and dim, a sad shade of who he used to be and in only seconds and with a single touch, he felt like his body was almost glowing, that his eyes shined finally after so many years of being dark. It was subtle but the longer they touched, the closer they were, the more he felt that light grow brighter, trying to make the sun and the stars jealous like it had all those years ago.

“Then I’ll help you learn to trust yourself again. However long it takes.” Trust was a fragile thing, easily broken and hard to repair, but even if they had to work on that trust slowly, Prompto was already settled in for the long haul. He’d been ready and willing since he was nine years old and he looked at Noct and realized that he wanted to help him be happy. This was exactly where he wanted to be and it was where he was going to stay. Prompto would stand by Noct forever, would help him find how to trust himself. There’s nothing he wouldn’t do for this man that he loved more than anything else in every world.

Holding tightly, desperately, to Noct, he felt goosebumps on his skin when Noct’s moaned into the kiss and a small and needy whine escaped him, a gentle plea for what, he didn’t know. Prompto didn’t have much experience in this kind of thing, but he had a feeling that even if he had, it wouldn’t have changed anything. Kissing Noct was a powerful thing, a hope and a daydream and years and years of longing and wanting, and here he was and it was more than he could have ever thought it could be. All the racing thoughts in his head were silent, too, and all of his senses were taken up by Noct in this moment.

Lightheaded and trembling, Prompto clung to Noct when they pulled apart though there was little room between them and Prompto was thankful for that. Where they touched, this searing heat inside of him was tolerable as if Noct was the only thing that could quench it and, well, Prompto couldn’t be convinced that wasn’t true. That happy expression made Prompto feel lighter than air and he could feel just a little more of his soul that Noctis carried slot into place, as if this moment had smoothed out its rough edges back out.

It halted though, it didn’t quite fit, because that beaming, bright look started to fade away and Prompto could only think about how to bring it back, how to stop it from disappearing and his hands were gently cradling Noct’s face again despite how badly they were shaking.

“I’d been afraid that this was goodbye,” he whispered quietly, when Noct asked him if he was okay. After they had landed, this feeling of distance that suddenly existed between them, that anxiety he could feel from Noctis that he didn’t understand, all of that had made him so sure he was going to lose him and that had terrified him. Prompto had been ready to leave, instead, because he thought that if he had to watch Noct walk away again, it would kill him. If it didn’t, he would have wished it did. But those thoughts and those fears had melted off of him like wax when Noct had told him that he loved him, and he brushed his thumbs over Noct’s cheeks before following that gentle caress with an even softer kiss. “I was trying to pull away because I thought it would hurt less when the blow came.” Prompto spoke against Noct’s skin, just a little distracted by the feeling of his lips as they brushed against his cheekbones. “I couldn’t though, not really, because being by your side is the only place I wanted to be. So I was…. tearing myself apart.”

Pulling back to look into Noct’s eyes he leaned in to nuzzle a kiss to his brow before holding his gaze. “Are you okay?”

Somehow, miraculously, he believed Prompto. Maybe it was the way his best friend said those words with such conviction and warmth. Or maybe it was the way he was looking at Noctis right then, fearlessly, without anything to guard his heart, those intense feelings laid bare. Whatever the reason, Noctis felt the long winter inside him finally begin to thaw. Tears tracked down his cheeks as he continued to gaze at Prompto, amazement and relief and so much love in his eyes he didn't know how to express any of it with words. So he turned his head to press a kiss to his best friend's palm, then his knuckles, and then they were kissing for real, and Noctis tasted salt against Prompto's lips. He wanted to take care of him, too. To spend whatever time he had left making Prompto happy.

It was that small, gentle little whine from his friend that derailed his train of thought. As soft as the sound was, Noctis felt it fan the fire inside him until it was racing through him like an inferno. He tilted his head for a better angle and kissed Prompto just a little harder, a little more purposeful, confident now in their feelings for each other and eager to explore this new facet of their friendship. Relationship? He didn't know. But Noctis was curious, and wildly in love, and even as they eased back, his eyes were shining with a hundred possibilities.

"Hi," he said, softly, then a chuckle escaped him. Noctis was just so happy. He didn't know what to do with these emotions he'd spent his entire life pushing down and locking away, always trying to downplay them so he could be strong like his father. But Prompto had always been different. He'd never shared Noctis' outrageous expectations for himself, or pressured him to be something that he wasn't. Maybe ... this could still be his safe space, his friendship with Prompto. He hoped so. He really, really hoped so.

Then he felt Prompto shaking, and Noctis frowned, continuing to rub his friend's back and sides while he talked. It worried him to think Prompto had almost made himself sick, but then, the more he heard, the less conflicted he began to feel about his part in all this. Maybe there was room in his friends' hearts for him. Maybe this could actually work out if he was very careful not to get in their way or ask for more. Noctis knew, if nothing else, one thing for certain. Especially when he felt those lips against his cheek. "Prom," he said, softly, coaxing, his gaze so warm when he looked at him. "I'm not going anywhere without a fight. I promise. You—make me so happy." His voice wavered a little, but only because he was so overwhelmed with emotion, tears in his eyes again. But this time, Noctis chuckled at himself, sheepish. "I didn't know I could be this happy until I met you. And I want to make you feel that way, too."

All this nuzzling and exchanging little kisses made Noctis feel warm all over. It was difficult to continue clinging to his worries when Prompto clung to him, and he sighed, leaning their foreheads together for a moment. "Can we ... sit, please? I just wanna be close to you before we talk about any more serious stuff. This is really nice." If Prompto agreed, Noctis would lead them to the couch (across from the loveseat Henruit had laid claim upon) and sit very close to his friend so he could keep fussing over him, like reaching out to tenderly brush some of that soft golden hair away from his face. Gods, Prompto was beautiful. It felt so nice to be near him like this.

Prompto hoped that Noct believed him, because it was true what he said. Helping Noct find happiness, being a shoulder for him to lean on, a hand to hold, was all Prompto had ever wanted. At times he had wished for the chance for more, but he had always put his friendship with Noct before his other feelings and for once, Prompto wondered if maybe it was possible to have that more. To build a life with him, to be his best friend but more than that too. It was too early in this for him to think about that, Prompto knew, but love and hope were too strong to really silence now that they were finally together and Prom was weak to them. What he knew more than anything was that he felt more whole than he had in a very long time and that was a feeling he couldn’t really process just yet. Standing here with tears in his eyes too, Prompto felt the most like himself than he had in all the fourteen years they’d been apart combined. Happiness had turned into something foreign, but he could feel it like sunlight inside of him again, warm and tender with the power to bring him back to life.

The change in their kiss wasn’t lost on Prompto, who matched that new intensity, his hands holding Noct’s face between them. He wanted this moment, this kiss, to last forever and he’d never felt so certain and excited despite knowing this was something new and young and he had no idea what he was really doing. Still, there was so much love in his heart that he finally could express and Prompto wanted to find every way to show it. There was so much in him that he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to share all of it; there just wasn’t enough time. Prompto held Noct’s eyes when they pulled apart, and that lilac blue color of his eyes was more vibrant than ever before, empowered by all the promises of the future.

“Hi,” Prom whispered in return, gently tucking a strand of Noct’s hair behind his ear. The smile on his face, though soft and small, was almost blinding in his happiness. Prompto was looking at Noctis like he was the most beautiful thing in the world because he was, and his heart was aching with how much he loved him.

Easing into that gentle touch at his back, Prom breathed some of that tension out that was making his muscles feel stiff. It was hard for Prom not to default to hiding how vulnerable he felt, to make himself look strong, but he felt safe in Noct’s arms, didn’t feel like he had to be strong and it felt good, knowing that he could let go. Prom wasn’t really surprised that Noct was still a safe place for him and he kept hoping that the same was true for Noct, that he always knew that Prom was a haven for him too. Listening to the sound of Noct’s voice when he started to speak, Prom reluctantly pulled away to hold his gaze, and he melted in it. “You helped me learn how to be happy too. I forgot for a little while, but I hope I can stay by your side and we can hold onto that feeling. I want to see you smile more,” he replied, and he kissed the corner of Noct’s mouth tenderly.

When Noct pressed their foreheads together, Prom took that chance to try and calm down, to breathe, because his heart was still skipping in its elation and it was making him feel dizzy. “Okay… okay,” Prompto answered, and he let Noct guide him over to the couch. Sinking into it, he wrapped his arms around Noct when he sat down too, pulling him even closer and he closed his eyes as those fingers were in his hair, sighing softly. It was enough that Prompto forgot about all his anxieties, even that they had been trying to have a conversation for a few moments. All he wanted to focus on was Noct pressed against him, a weight he cherished more than anything, and he kept hearing him say that he loved him in his head, over and over again. It felt a little like being consumed, but Prompto couldn’t have been happier to be.

What Noctis didn't trust was himself around Prompto, or really, any of his friends. He brought everyone nothing but misery, and distancing himself from them would have been the right thing to do. The decent thing. But it was so difficult when Prompto looked at him like that, hope and joy so bright in his eyes that it was almost blinding. He released a shuddering breath, knowing he was far too weak to resist this. Not when he was so desperate to be close to his best friend again, to cling to him and never let him go. It was a selfish thought. Noctis knew that, and he felt so guilty, even as those kisses threatened to chase it all away. That was Prompto, though: a light in the dark, impossible to turn away from, always and forever drawing him in like a moth to a flame.

Even after the kiss finally eased and Noctis was able to catch his breath, he didn't move away. Instead, he cradled Prompto close, like he was something very precious, and he tightened his arms around him more, beginning to sway a little as if they were slow dancing together. But he just felt overwhelmed by all these emotions, the sheer amount of surprise that this was actually happening making Noctis feel woozy. Hence the swaying. He chuckled when Prompto returned his greeting, though, unable help but lean in for another, sweeter kiss, pleased when his hair was fussed with.

If nothing else, he told himself, he could offer this to his dearest friend: a place of refuge. He felt Prompto relax into his arms, and that was almost as humbling a gift as his love. Noctis took it very seriously, knowing how difficult it was to be vulnerable around anyone and wanting to be open and respectful. However much Prompto wanted to let down his guard, Noctis would be there to support and shield him. It surprised him to hear that he'd played any part in his friend's happiness, but the tenderness of that next kiss helped to ease some of his stress. They could discuss later the logistics of their jobs and how to make time for each other down the line. For now, Noctis allowed himself a brief moment to bask in Prompto's love and hope, letting it warm all the cold spaces inside him like a cat might lounge in the sun.

He hummed, low, realizing he'd stopped talking but knowing that it was perfectly okay. Prompto would know this was a comfortable silence, or at least a thoughtful one, meaning Noctis was turning a lot over in his head and he needed a bit of time to process it all before he could really continue the conversation. But sitting on the couch with him was nice. It helped, and Noctis shifted closer, practically sitting in Prompto's lap at this point but not quite sure that was something his friend wanted, so he kept some distance there. A bit. "Love you," he murmured again, pressing a kiss to his best friend's cheek. Now that he was allowed to say it, he didn't want to stop saying it, continuing to card his fingers through Prompto's hair while he watched him through soft, half-lidded eyes.

If it was selfish to want something this much, to disregard reason for it, then Prompto was just as guilty. All his life, Prompto had wanted this, to love Noctis and be loved by him, to be as close to him as two people could get. Noct already made up the parts of his soul that Prompto cherished, and he had always wished that he could be a part of Noct’s soul too. To be so intrinsically linked that they could never be separated by anything, not time nor distance was a dream Prompto held onto desperately, refusing to let it go even when logic and reason should have made him do just that. Each moment longer here with Noct in his arms, Prom felt a breath closer to knowing what that dream felt like fulfilled and he didn’t want to relinquish that hope. If it had been hard for him to let Noct go before, it was impossible now.

Being held so close and so reverently was such a foreign feeling to Prompto, but it sank into his bones and he was suddenly this being of light, and it was almost frightening except those arms holding him tightly made him feel safe. With his arms back around Noct’s shoulders, he found himself swaying with him, eyes closed. It felt like drifting out to sea, at the mercy of the water, but the raw, humbling power was this love that was flowing between them and Prompto would willing drown in it. Prompto felt like he was being pulled under by that tender kiss, the waves rising up over his head.

Whenever he was with Noctis, Prompto never really felt afraid. He’d always trusted him with his whole heart, his whole soul, and that had never changed. Noctis had been the first person Prom had ever opened up to and he was always this beacon that helped guide him out from even the darkest thoughts that plagued him. It was no surprise that the only thing that had kept Prom alive in Zegnautus Keep had been the hope to see him again. Prom had always found strength and solace in his best friend, and he wanted to go back to that. It could only be better, now, because he knew that Noctis loved him too, that he loved him the same way Prom loved him.

This time, when the silence fell between them, it felt like it used to; a companionable quiet, something he could take comfort in because they were happy enough just to be with each other that they didn’t really need words. Prompto could sit like this with him for hours and not feel the need to speak, not fall victim to the awkwardness that could accompany silence because that just didn’t exist here when they fell back into sync with each other. Noct shifting closer prompted him to pull him the rest of the way onto his lap and tipped his head forward to rest it against Noct’s shoulder with a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. “I love you, too,” Prom answered softly. He would never get tired of saying those words, and he kissed Noct where his jaw met his neck and sighed, so impossibly happy. A little shiver travelled along his spine as Noct played with his hair and he tightened his arms around him as he pressed another gentle kiss against his neck.

Noctis released a long, heavy sigh, the weight around his shoulders helping to soothe the pain in his heart. He felt nothing but relief in this moment, all of his anxiety and stress evaporating the longer he took refuge in the shelter of Prompto's arms. It was strange how Noctis hadn't realized that he'd been living in a storm until now, when everything in his head was finally, blessedly silent, and his best friend was so very warm, like drawing close to a campfire. "I'm home," he murmured brokenly, half to himself. But it was the truth. Here, right now, he felt at complete peace, and he didn't want to ever let Prompto go. Even if he knew he had to—that he should—for a few minutes, Noctis thought it might be okay to pretend that wasn't true.

Sitting with Prompto helped. The quiet, companionable silence did, too. He didn't feel pressured to try and articulate everything he was struggling with, or to pretend he was fine. Those gentle kisses were sending little shivers through Noctis every time he felt them against his neck, and he bit his lip for a moment, trying to keep from making a sound. All that escaped him was a soft, shaky breath, and he shifted away from that next kiss before it could land. "Prom," he murmured, voice lower than before, husky and coaxing. Noctis gazed at those beautiful iridescent eyes for a moment before he was drawn forward, powerless against the tide that pulled him into another, proper kiss. And another. And another.

He was getting lost again, fingers tangled in the soft strands of Prompto's golden hair at the back of his neck while Noctis explored his mouth. As much as he enjoyed the feeling of this, shivery and warm as it was, he also enjoyed the noises they made together, the way just a slight shift of his head could entice a sharp intake of breath, or the way a small flick of his tongue and taste of Prompto's lips made him groan. Slow down, he thought, but it was too distant for him to pay the warning any heed. Besides, he'd never done this before. He wanted to enjoy spending time with the man he hadn't seen in so long, to show him how loved he truly was, and maybe, just a little bit, to feel connected to him, too. Because Noctis had felt so disconnected for so long, he was only just realizing now how far he'd drifted from the shore.

When he came up for air, Noctis spared a second or two for catching his breath before he began to press tiny little kisses on each freckle he saw. Along the delicate slope of Prompto's cheekbone, over the curve of his ear, down his neck—everywhere he spotted a mark, he nuzzled a kiss there. "Beautiful," he whispered, knowing Prompto would hear it. Noctis gently cradled the back of his friend's neck and continued along the front where he pressed his lips to his adam's apple, lingering there for a moment.

With eyes still closed, Prompto just clung tighter to Noctis and the feeling of calm that pervaded every part of him as finally felt that piece of his soul that he had been missing fit into its place. His breathing was just a little shaky, but he was overcome with such a sense of peace that it wasn’t surprising. Hearing those words from Noct so perfectly summed up exactly how Prompto felt that he could only whisper, “Me too,” in a trembling voice that was also filled with so much hope and love and joy. This was home. This was the place he had been longing for so badly that it hurt. He was never going to let it go again. Prompto knew that they wouldn’t be able to cling to each other forever, but that didn’t mean he was letting go, it didn’t mean that they were parting, or saying goodbye. As long as his heart and soul were with Noctis, he would always be home, and that wasn’t something he could let go of.

Prompto could feel the way Noct trembled, and he smiled softly against his skin as he revelled in the warm silence that wrapped around them both. Knowing that he didn’t have to fill it, didn’t have to fight with his words to express what he felt was like a burden being taken down from his shoulders. He didn’t have to speak because what he wanted to tell Noctis, he was so sure he could with just the way he touched him, with just the smile on his face, with just the light in his eyes. As he was leaning in to press another kiss to the column of Noctis’s neck, the sound of his name made him pause more than Noct moving away did and he lifted his eyes to hold those gorgeous blue ones. Before Prompto could really think about how badly he missed the shade that blue turned when Noct was happy, he was being kissed again and that thought drifted away from him. And then he was kissed again. And again. And any thoughts he might have had were slow to reach him, like wading through honey.

As they kissed, slow and exploratory, Prom’s fingers wound in Noct’s dark hair, and if he’d hoped it would keep him moored, he would have been wrong. Prom was entirely at Noct’s mercy, at the way he tilted his head and the gentle feeling of Noct’s tongue against his lips, against his own. He was struggling to breathe, each inhale a shuddering gasp and each exhale a sigh, but he wasn’t in distress. Far from it. Prompto was filled with a warmth that was spreading through him and bringing color back into him where it had been gone for so long. Holding tighter, Prom leaned into their kiss just a little more, let the taste of Noct’s lips wash over him, and the weight of him in his lap keep him grounded.

Panting softly when they pulled apart, Prom moved to brush his fingers across Noct’s forehead, pushing back the dark locks that fell over it and partially obscured his eyes as Noct leaned in to press kisses across his cheeks, and then to his ear, and then his neck. The last thing Prom would have thought was that Noct was following the dusting of freckles across his skin, but as if his body knew what his mind didn’t, he flushed slightly and the pink color helped each little mark stand out just a little more. “You’re beautiful,” Prom returned, breathy and near-silent, as he tipped his head back, fingers tangling more in the dark strands of hair at the nape of Noct’s neck.

Noctis smiled when he heard Prompto's response, and he held him just a bit tighter, curling closer. This was more than he'd ever dreamed possible for himself, and he didn't know how to articulate that—what it was like to grow up preparing for a life of public service, knowing it would never be his own. Nothing was Noctis' to keep for himself, and he'd made peace with that, had even convinced himself it was okay. How could he deserve anything as sweet and kind as Prompto? He could protect his best friend, offer him comfort and companionship, but love wasn't something for people like Noctis. People who were meant to serve and sacrifice so that others could live happy and healthy lives. Didn't Prompto deserve a chance for those things with someone who wasn't a ghost?

They would need to talk soon. He knew that. But something inside Noctis stirred to life when he felt that smile against his skin. He was getting warmer, bit by bit, coming back to himself after such a long time away simply because Prompto touched him. Loved him. And that was a little frightening, to realize he'd been numb since being consumed by the Crystal. There was so much trapped inside Noctis, encased in ice, and he felt so worried about what those dark, traumatic things were, whether they would dig into Prompto like shards until they tore him apart.

He swallowed hard, caught by the impossible brightness in those luminous eyes and the promise that seemed to lay inside them. Noctis had always been drawn by Prompto's bright, guileless gaze. It felt the same as when he'd first approached him at school, that easy smile and laughing eyes immediately catching Noctis' attention. His stomach had twisted into knots, and looking back, he realized he'd always felt that way around Prompto. All his best friend had to do was smile and he'd feel giddy and nervous. And now they were kissing after years of not kissing and it was almost too much. So were the hands in his hair, which made Noctis shiver and whine softly against his friend's mouth.

It was a little weird to be leaving his hair down when he was so used to styling it up (the time gap didn't help him get used to anything), but those fingers felt so nice, tingling along his scalp. Then Prompto blushed so prettily, and Noctis chased the spreading warmth with his mouth. "No. You're beautiful," he rumbled out, voice pitched lower. After a few more nuzzling kisses: "Been thinking of doing this forever. I’m crazy about these freckles."

As impossible as it was, Prompto always hoped that Noctis had been able to forget he had to be a prince when they were together. He didn’t have to be a leader, he didn’t have to be a servant and Noct didn’t owe him anything. All Prompto wanted was for him to be his best friend and nothing more, and the same was true now. Well, almost. Prompto was hoping beyond hope for that and for him to be something more too, but everything was still so new and it didn’t need a name yet. Maybe in the morning, but right now, it was a feeling and it was enough.

It was more than enough.

This feeling was a light where there had been nothing but darkness, a warmth where there had only been cold, life where everything had been decay. This love that Prompto felt for Noctis, it made him invincible, strong enough to withstand anything and it was wrapped in an armor of hope that could melt even the iciest shards. Of that, Prompto was entirely certain.

Mesmerized by the depths of Noct’s deep blue eyes, Prom felt a tug in his heart. How many times had he sought out the comfort of them when they were younger from across the classroom, or the courtyard, in the rear-view mirror, or from the other side of a campfire? That feeling of safety and of home had always existed there, and Prom could always find strength there too. Just like now.

Even after Noct’s lips started chasing the line of his freckles, Prompto’s lips still tingled from their kisses and he could still taste Noct on them when he bit down on his lower lip as Noct kissed along his neck. A quiet laugh bubbled up in his chest at Noct’s response, though the tone of his voice made Prompto shiver. “Lucky that I’m covered in them, huh,” he whispered back, breathless. The thought of Noct kissing him everywhere there was a mark was almost too much for him to handle, his heartbeat skipping as the blush on his skin deepened in color.

Leaning in, Prompto pressed a delicate kiss to the beauty mark just to the right of Noct’s mouth. He had always daydreamed about kissing him there, and now he could. So he did. And then he pressed his lips against the one on the side of his neck. Prompto remembered there was one on his left arm too, and a couple on his legs. Time might have taken a lot from him, but it never took those memories and they were just as vivid now as they had been when he was twenty and fate hadn’t robbed them of a real future. Prom nuzzled a kiss to that spot on his neck instead of lingering on that thought and moved lower to kiss him again where Noct’s collarbone just barely peeked out from under fabric. “I’ve been thinking of all the places I want to kiss you forever too.” Prompto’s voice was lower now as if to match the change in Noct’s, reverberating in his chest and through his throat as he spoke. Reaching for Noct’s hand, Prom slowly, tenderly, kissed each knuckle before turning his hand over and pressing another kiss to the mound of his thumb, and another to his palm, and another to the inside of his wrist. Easily, Prompto could kiss him for hours if Noct let him.

Noctis paused in his kissing. "Covered?" He wondered, voice a little strangled. His mind was already leaping to where each freckle lay, and whether Prompto would let him taste them all. He'd spend hours—days trying, and for a long moment, he was too distracted to move, utterly taken apart by the idea. That's when Prompto started kissing him in return, and a shuddering breath left Noctis as he leaned back a little to watch through half-lidded eyes. His friend was paying such careful attention to his hand, and he was truly humbled by it. Flustered, of course, but humbled.

It was still difficult to believe there was anything in him worthy of being loved this much, but oh, how his heart skipped a beat at the thought of being kissed everywhere, too. He was so charmed, swept away by the blessing that was his best friend returning his feelings, that he hardly knew what to do with himself. Talk to him, Noctis' brain supplied, and he flushed, suddenly sheepish. "Uh," he started, then stopped, swallowing past the lump in his throat. "Can we—talk now? There's some stuff I'd like to say, and if you keep doing that, I um. Won't be able to think much anymore."

He didn't want there to be any space between them, though, so Noctis stayed where he was, hoping that was alright. It took him a little bit to gather his thoughts again, but it was his courage that really needed rallying. He'd spent the previous morning crying, and then again in the afternoon, so certain that he was ruining his closest friends' chance at a new life and happiness. Noctis had felt that way for a long time, he realized—a burden, not worth the effort. But he reached for Prompto's hand when he started feeling that way again, and he felt strength start to well up inside him again. He could do this.

"I'm afraid," Noctis admitted, already feeling winded, like his voice was being stolen from his throat. "I think you and Gladio have a real shot at happiness here, and I'm ..." He blinked back tears, hating the fact that he couldn't get through a difficult conversation without getting emotional. So he took another moment to steady himself, frustrated, but too damn stubborn not to try. Then, after another shaky breath: "I want the best for you guys, and I'll still be here for you, it just—won't be like this. So you can move on." It might've sounded strange for someone seemingly alive to talk like they weren't, but that's how he felt most days.

Not here, though. Not in Prompto's arms. And that was a dangerous thing to get used to if he was going to try separating himself from whatever it was they were falling into here.

“Yeah,” Prompto answered in a voice that was low and rumbling, more confident than he thought he was capable of even if the smile on his lips was a little shy. “If you want, I can show you.” For a moment or two, Prompto was distracted by almost the exact same thought, of Noct’s fingers and mouth finding each freckle and making him feel beautiful for having them instead of embarrassed. He was breathless by the time his mind resurfaced and even after he struggled to fill his lungs with air, it was all stolen again by the way Noct’s eyes watched him as he kissed him.

Leaning in to kiss along the side of Noct’s neck, Prom paused with his lips pressed against the skin where he could feel Noct’s heartbeat. He felt so lucky to be able to have this, to be able to hold him close enough to feel his heart beating, to know that Noct loved him too. Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes, born out of this happiness that was so bright that he couldn’t contain it. At the sound of Noct’s voice, Prom’s attention drifted back a little and he could feel the muscles of Noct’s throat move against his lips when he swallowed, and there was something intimate about that, too. Prompto’s shoulders were rocked by a silent laugh for a second and he kissed that spot above Noct’s pulse once more before he leaned back. “Sorry,” he murmured quietly, a little coy. Tucking a strand of hair behind Noct’s ear idly, just because he still needed to touch, Prom held Noct’s eyes with a soft look and a gentle smile. “Whenever you’re ready. I’m listening, okay?”

With one arm wrapped around Noct, Prom held him close as he waited and studied the color of those beautiful eyes. He could almost see the color of them changing subtly with whatever Noct was thinking about just now, flashes of different shades that all meant something. Patiently, Prom waited for Noct to speak and when Noct reached for his hand, he laced their fingers together, hoping to give Noct the strength to keep going. Squeezing gently, he had to stop himself from bringing Noct’s hand to to his lips again, not wanting to distract him because this was important.

Quietly and without interrupting, Prompto listened to Noct and each word sank into his chest. It was strange, though, because it didn’t hurt and it didn’t feel like what it might have even yesterday. Prompto could feel them digging in but they didn’t tear and he didn’t bleed and he knew it was because he had finally let himself love and hope and he was so much stronger for it.

“We do have a shot at happiness. With you,” and Prom made sure the emphasis on those last two words were clear, but he wasn’t done talking yet. Not at all. “I know exactly where my happiness is, and it’s with you, Noct. It has always been here.” Tightening his grip, Prom paused when he felt his throat close around the words he was trying to say. Tears of his own filled his eyes and his heart hurt with how badly it wanted Noct to hear these words. “Move on? Noctis, I died that day too. And no amount of mourning will ever make that better.” Prom’s voice wavered as his heart contracted painfully in his chest. But he pushed through it, even as a few tears fell from his eyes. “You’re my soulmate, Noct, and I’m more sure about that than I am about anything else in my entire life. Without you, I’m only half a person. Being with you again was like breathing after being trapped underwater, and like opening my eyes after being asleep for decades.” Pulling back, Prompto held Noct’s eyes with a steady determination, even if his voice was bowing a little under the weight of all the emotions inside of him.

“I came back to life when I saw you again, Noctis.”

Even though he had promised himself to be good, to not kiss him so they could talk, Prompto give in for a moment and captured Noct’s lips with his own as he held onto Noctis with all his strength. “I know the exact second my soul was whole again, you know,” he whispered quietly, a smile settling on his face.

Heat shot through Noctis at the sound of Prompto's low, confident voice, and he shivered, unable to articulate a single thing because his brain had decided to switch off. Just a soft hum escaped him, the noise a bit strangled again, as his best friend proceeded to take him apart with only a few gentle kisses and a soft, coy look. Gods, Prompto was gorgeous. It was so tempting to give in, to lose himself in the sweet exploration of touch and taste, but Noctis somehow managed to resist. They needed to establish how they both felt about this before anything else happened, and he leaned in to gently kiss his friend's forehead in an apology. Later, he wanted to say.

It helped so much that Prompto let him speak and didn't interrupt. Noctis had a lot of trouble articulating himself when it came to emotional subjects, but it was easier knowing he had time to get there and he wasn't being rushed. The fact that his best friend didn't seem upset to hear these things was also a relief, because he'd been so worried opening up might tear apart the lovely little haven they'd found together, here in the quiet, peaceful atmosphere of his apartment. And when Prompto began to open up, too? All of his stress from earlier melted away.

The longer his best friend spoke, the more Noctis relaxed until he was leaning against him heavily. He curled toward his best friend, too, reaching out to rest a hand on his chest just as Prompto had done for him. It hurt to hear about what happened after the dawn, but Noctis knew it was necessary. He wanted to hear where his friend was coming from, and although a storm of guilt and sorrow swept through him, he also felt lighter than air. You're my soulmate chased away all the clouds inside him, and Noctis smiled, relief and longing coloring his entire expression. "You're mine, too," he murmured, gently brushing away any tears from Prompto's cheeks. He was distantly aware of the fact that he must look starry-eyed in that moment, but he didn't care. His heart was singing, all thanks to the melody inside Prompto that he'd always yearned to harmonize with.

Truthfully, Noctis was still a bit overwhelmed. But he could at least chuckle at himself after his friend kissed him again, flustered and sheepish. "You're one hell of a charmer, you know," he said, leaning their foreheads together with a soft sigh. "I love you, Prompto. With everything I am. Don't ever doubt that, okay?" It wasn't nearly as eloquent, but he hoped the way his voice pitched lower and grew very, very warm would convey the depth of his feelings just as much as his friend had articulated his own. That last part made him smile again, though. Prompto was so romantic. A happy little sigh escaped him. "Oh yeah? When was that?" Noctis turned his head slightly to press another kiss to his friend's cheek just because he could, and oh, wasn't that a lovely thing, too, that he was allowed to show affection like this now.

This conversation was important, one they needed to have. Even though the anxiety that had been eating at him the entire way here was all but forgotten, Prompto knew there was a lot for them to talk about, a lot of feelings they needed to get off their chests so that the foundation of this was strong. It was only a few hours ago that Prompto had felt as if he was losing his best friend again, that their relationship was ending, and the misunderstandings, those miscommunications and assumptions, needed to be uprooted before they could move forward. So Prom was determined to be honest, even if it scared him, and he let the last of his walls come down even if that left him so vulnerable. That gentle kiss to his forehead squeezed his heart in his chest.

Holding tightly to Noct’s hand when he spoke, Prompto wanted to help give him strength because he knew just how hard it was for Noct to get the words out when it came to emotional things. All throughout their friendship, Prom had watched him struggle with being able to express himself where his feelings were involved, but he had always been there to support him and Prompto hoped that Noct always knew that.

As Noct relaxed against him, Prompto adjusted his grip around him, pulling him close and settling his weight comfortably against him. It was grounding, feeling Noct’s weight pressed against him, but feeling Noct rest his hand over his heart was something else. Underneath Noct’s palm, Prom’s heart raced and thundered as if hoping to be noticed. It stilled, though, as if processing along with his mind, the fact that Noct felt the same, that he felt they were soulmates too. When it resumed its beating, it was stronger than ever before, more sure, elated, and it sang too, reaching out for Noct’s as if it wanted to sync completely with him. Prompto wouldn’t have been surprised if it managed to do just that.

“Who, me?” Prom laughed quietly, brushing the tip of his nose against Noct’s with a smile on his face. He let his eyes close for a second as Noct rested their foreheads together, but they opened when he heard those three words, wanting to hold Noct’s gaze, wanted to see the blue of his eyes as he said them. Prompto knew he would never get used to hearing Noct tell him that he loved him, that he would always feel so giddy and blessed and happy every time and that was more than okay with him. “I love you too, Noct. My heart, my soul, they’re yours. And I won’t. How could I? I can feel it. Right here.” Prom held Noct’s hand over his heart again, and he felt it flip again and wondered if Noct could feel it too.

And it didn’t matter that Noct wasn’t as eloquent, because his words were more than enough for Prompto.

“When you said I’m home,” Prom whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “This feeling of… peace just washed over me. Because that part of me that was missing, that piece of my soul that I’d lost… was home.” Pressing a kiss to Noct’s temple, Prom wrapped both arms around him and took a deep breath and focused on the feeling of Noct held close to him. He was just so happy.

There was a lot for them to discuss. They'd have to keep talking, too. Of that Noctis was certain. If whatever this was between all three of them was going to work, they'd have to learn how to articulate their feelings, or at least commit to trying. Prompto, however, didn't seem to need much time for that, if by the way he was so eloquently expressing himself was any indication. For a moment, Noctis just smiled softly at him, eyes half-lidded, admiring the man he'd come to love so deeply and profoundly that he hardly knew what to do with himself. "You're perfect," he heard himself say, dreamily, except he'd actually meant to think that, not blurt it out loud. Noctis blushed, grimacing at himself. "Uh, sorry. I know that wasn't—um." He tried to gather himself, flustered. "I don't want you to feel like I'm putting you on a pedestal, you know? But man, Prom. I'm in love with everything about you. This is—I'm so happy. I guess I just ... have to get used to feeling this way."

He hoped that wasn't too much. Noctis felt like his tongue was tied into knots, like he was stumbling over everything he tried to articulate, and yet, he wasn't nervous. Prompto never made him feel stressed. It always came from within himself, and he knew that, with time and patience, Noctis would eventually be able to overcome that. Like so many things in his life, Prompto made him want to try to be better, and that was a gift he still didn't quite know how to articulate. One day, he would.

"Yeah, you," he replied, chuckling. The steady feeling of his friend's heartbeat underneath his hand was soothing, lulling Noctis into a state of comfort and bliss. Prompto nuzzling their noses together was so impossibly charming, too, and he beamed, suddenly feeling nothing but certainty about their future together. "Guess that's that, then," Noctis murmured, amusement and fondness warming his tone. "You're stuck with me." Because if home was with each other, then he very much wanted to spend some time refamiliarizing himself with the place he'd been missing for so long.

With a bit of shuffling, Noctis eased them both back onto the couch so Prompto was laying half on top of him, cuddled up nice and close. He could get an arm tucked around his best friend's back that way, and he heaved a heavy, relieved sigh, closing his eyes. "This okay?" Noctis asked, words a little slower. It was pretty exhausting whenever he opened up emotionally, so resting a bit after was definitely something he was keen on. Especially if it meant a short cat nap with Prompto safely tucked in his arms.

Silently. Prompto made a promise to himself to be honest and to be open. Being the opposite was… a habit he’d needed to break for a long time now (twenty-five years, to be exact), and he was determined to hold himself to that promise because this meant more to him than anything else. If this relationship was going to work, if they were going to stay together, they needed to be able to talk, really talk, and not shut down or hide behind walls. Even with that promise, Prompto was just a little surprised with how easy the words came to him when he thought they would get stuck in his throat. But he had a feeling it had everything to do with the fact that he was so certain about what he was feeling and he felt it so deeply that they were glad to finally be expressed, and to be loved in return? It was all the motivation he needed.

Prompto was admiring Noct too, committing all his features to memory again, when the words you’re perfect were blurted out and Prom’s gentle smile only grew more affectionate and amused in response. Combing his fingers through Noct’s hair as he started to get flustered, Prom tugged him just a little closer. “You’re acting like you accidentally insulted my haircut or something,” he teased lightly, continuing to run his fingers through those dark locks. “It’s…. nice to hear, though. That you’re that happy. Happy enough to just say exactly what you’re thinking.” Leaning forward, Prompto kissed him again, light and slow. “And if it takes you a little while to get used to feeling this way, that’s okay you know. I’ll be here. Always.” Pausing for a moment, Prompto just held Noct’s eyes.

“Ever at your side.”

Chuckling, Prompto almost felt like he was dreaming as happiness continued to bubble up inside him, to fill him up where he had been empty before. “I was about to say the same thing,” he replied, smiling just as brightly. He was home and Prompto never wanted to let go of that again.

It was easy for Prom to let himself move with Noct until they were laying down, settling against his side as if he were made to fit there. With the sound of Noct’s heartbeat soothing him, he felt his body grow heavily as his eyes closed. “Very okay,” was Prompto’s reply, his voice pitched low and even. Slowly, he drew in a deep breath and when he released it, he felt the last shred of tension crumble away. Wrapping his arm around Noct, Prompto shifted just a little more, pressed himself just a little closer to him as he felt himself drift off to sleep.